In my act, I start by addressing my age, my failed marriages and the fact that I'm constantly at the hair salon and Ulta, just like Dolly Parton once famously quipped, "It takes a lot of money to look this cheap." I say that because of all of this, I'm constantly called the "c-word" -- that "c-word" being "cougar." I do really hate that word. I've been checking a lot of things off of my bucket list. The first thing you learn in Stand-up 101 is "write what you know." I've had a lot of life experiences one could label as interesting, but my current dating situation is certainly fodder for comedy -- and maybe it shouldn't be.
Dating someone 30 years younger
Every time I gave OKCupid a try, I specified my desired age range for a mate to be between 35 and 55 years old -- and I'd get constantly barraged with messages from enthusiastic young 20-somethings looking to be my "cub." The perception that I'm (supposedly) at my sexual peak seemed to be the prime motivation for these boys to reach out to me.
Not that it was very different from the responses I got from men my age -- they were just far less eager and often downright aloof.
One guy I dated on and off I dubbed "Copperfield" (as in magician David Copperfield), as he'd disappear for weeks at a time between dates.
I also had more than one man my age ask if I'd like to enter into a "friends with benefits" arrangement. My prospects were drying up rapidly and I was getting increasingly discouraged, I was still poking around on Tinder and Match when my best girlfriend told me about a guy. I dated one when I was in my early 20s and he's still one of my best friends.
He and I met soon after and were instantly attracted. I know I'm still going to have to defend my decision to a lot of people -- and I'm ready to do so. I just thought sharing my story might help shatter the stereotype of the "c-word." The moral of the story: Be with whoever makes you happy. According to the findings, men and women who were married were about 20 percent less likely to die of cancer during the three-year study period, regardless of how advanced the disease was (although it's worth noting that the benefits appeared to be stronger for men).
It took us a few months to actually start dating -- I was still trying to make it work with guys my own age and he had other pursuits for a while as well. The "why" isn't clear, and the study does not establish cause and effect, but researchers hypothesize that having someone who cares for you and who helps you understand your diagnosis might be behind the connection.
I was honestly hesitant at the start -- what was I going to tell my family? She's younger than my mom (she's the one who introduced me to rock 'n' roll, so I figured she'd be as good a jumping-off point as any). In reality, I am old enough to technically be his mother, but I still don't care. And it's not the first study to show a link; a paper published in November 2012 found that socially isolated women were more likely to die of breast cancer than their counterparts with close social ties.
When my BFF told me the guy was a comedian -- and then sent me his picture, I was immediately interested.
He did look a bit younger than me (he has what can best be described as a baby face).
I asked my friend how old he was, to which she replied, "He's in his early 30s." Both my husbands were a few years younger than me, but I had never been with someone over 10 years younger than me. Until I'm no longer happy in this relationship (if that even happens), I'm going to enjoy every moment.
I had been on a few dates with 30-somethings, but nothing really came of those. You know, I could go on and on about the whole double standard thing -- but you and I both know that's not going to change anytime soon and I feel like talking about it is just a waste of breath. suggests that marriage may help improve cancer survival rates.