problems with dating widowers - Dating while genderqueer

I was drawn to genderqueer because it contained within it the word Queer. I first saw the word in Julia Serano’s and I’ve seen cisgender described as “the opposite of transgender”.

I’ve also understood it to be good to use the word because it challenges the assumption that cisgender is “normal”.

So as a person who was assigned female at birth, many things that society expects of me as a “woman” feel unnatural.

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I believe it started to be used early 2000, mostly by youths, as I was then.

When I first saw the word “genderqueer” in a zine, I immediately could identify.

I also loved other terms such as androgynous/androgyne, genderfuck, two-spirit, trans entity, bi-gendered, third gendered, multi-gendered, fluid, transboi, boydyke, boi, and many more. As someone who struggled (and still struggles) with gender I found myself uncomfortable with what was expected of me in terms of cisgender appearance and behaviors. Cisgender is a term created to describe someone who identifies with the gender they were assigned at birth.

“Love that dirty water…Boston, you’re my home…” Hi, ya’ll!

Greetings and welcome to “Dating While Black”, where I’ll share my adventures in dating as a young, trendy, fairly good looking, educated, 31 (nearly 32) black woman living in Boston.

While I plan to talk about the hardships and the sometimes bonuses of “dating while black” (yup, every once in a while it’s “alright” to be black”), believe me when I say my misadventures in the world of dating, except for a few nuances, should be of interest to any reader, regardless of background.

I can’t promise to be politcally correct, I may use profanity to make my points, and while I definitely have some strong opinions about race, men, and Boston that I won’t be apologizing for, I’m always up for hearing (intelligent, thought-provoking, relevant) critiques and comments.

Alright — in the immortal words of Tag Team — “whomp, there it is!

For the last year I’ve been more visible about being genderqueer.

It’s an identity I feel is very important to put forward, especially as I find myself receiving more mainstream attention, though I could just as easily identify with any number of other identities I hold to my being.

Despite the fact that I’ve used the word “genderqueer”, I realized I haven’t shared much on my site about what the term means to me. (for me, right now) Nutshell: Someone who is “genderqueer” has fluid ideas about gender expression and may not identify as being a man or a woman.

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