The number of times I've been left alone in the corner of a bar, clutching the drink she now wishes she'd never bought me, after dropping the b-bomb. I'd be happy to have an open relationship but if she's sleeping with guys as well as girls then no way.” - Erica, 36.
What is it that makes some lesbians so reluctant to date She Wired asked a bunch of lesbians “Would you ever date a bisexual? Nobody is proposing that all of the men we've ever slept with get into bed with you when we do.
If you're really that bothered about secondhand male contact, I can honestly assure you that being bi doesn't mean we don't wash between intimate experiences (or that we have loads of unprotected sex). Because life with me as a lesbian couple would be so much harder than taking the easy way and dating a man, so I wouldn't trust her to stick around.
Besides, plenty of lesbians have been with men before: not everyone is a “gold star”! I've never dated a bisexual woman myself but I've seen enough friends have a hard time with bisexual girlfriends.” - Aisha, 25.
The only kind of erasure the LGBT community should really be supporting is the type that has Andy Bell singing onstage with it.
Even if we rush off into the sunset in a big white meringue dress with a guy at our side, we are still bi.
She’s witnessed the things lesbians can do to make their relationships work and things that often cause relationships to fail. Whether you want to or not, you don’t have the time because you’ve got two other people that you’re trying to see.” It also helps you to stay grounded and maintain objectivity.
You want to compare and contrast, it’s healthy to be able to compare.
If you are only dating one person, you may ignore red flags that come up. Frankie says we tend to be drawn to the same type of person over and over again.
Why should we pretend we've never loved another woman? Bi people don't become gay or straight according to who they're dating.
Why should we lie about past physical violence, verbal attacks, being ostracized, just for this assumed “straight privilege”? That really is a bit like saying you're blonde-sexual now you're dating a blonde girl – even if your ex had brown hair.
You try pretending you've never dated or felt attracted to anyone except your girlfriend for a while and see how good that feels. It's cute to try and pretend you've never been attracted to anyone else ever but that's not how it works.
Frankie Bashan is a lesbian matchmaker and dating coach. Frankie has a doctorate in psychology and she’s spent years studying and counseling lesbians on their dating and relationship dynamics. Dating more than one person at a time slows down the process. Frankie says, “So you’re not…you don’t have all this time to focus on this one person.