Yours will too.) Here are your action steps: • Write your list of qualities, values, and behaviors that attract you and that you expect in a man with whom you spend time.
• Review your list and decide: does this man exist?
So what’s the thing about dating that bothers you most? All the good ones are taken…check this out: If you live anywhere near a major metro area, and are looking for a man over 40, 5’8” or taller, college educated, non-smoking, making a higher than median income…statistics say that there are over 2000 of these guys within 20 miles of you looking for love online. As long as you let yourself believe that your lack of connection with a good man is about T-H-E-M…then you don’t have to take responsibility. DO NOT tell me that in the first 10 minutes of meeting a man you can know that he is a potential suitor or life partner. Quick judgments are often more about you than the man sitting in front of you.
I did it for about 30 years and I experienced all the hurt, confusion, frustration, hopelessness, boredom, and exhaustion that comes with it. There are about 45 million single men over the age of 35 in the United States, about 7 million in Britain and 2 million in Australia. And before you say…but, Bobbi, these aren’t quality men. If you’re like I used to be as a single gal, it’s because it gives you permission to stay the same and stay single. Unless he spits when he talks, smells, or is drunk; give him a chance.
As a Dating and Relationship Coach for Women over 40, I conducted a survey and asked women to tell me their biggest dating challenge as a woman in her 40s, 50s and beyond. You are merely a victim of nasty and sad circumstance, rather than a strong, smart woman in charge of her life. Quickly dismissing men is most often about self-protection and reliving past experiences in the present.
The idea that there aren’t any quality men is a myth. Why do you hold on to this as if it were truth; like it’s a reality of life that you must endure?
Take some advice from a gal who has been there, finally figured “the man-thing out,” got married at 47 and now enjoys a stellar relationship with the perfect man…for me. I mean, after all, if every man you meet is unworthy then there is no risk you’ll actually start dating or get in a relationship!
There are two things you can do that will immediately improve your experience with men: 1. Know what you want and must have, and make sure it’s the “Grownup You” doing the picking; not the 18-year-old who still expects all kinds of wacky things that no longer matter and wouldn’t make you happy anyway. Aren’t your “quirks” what you want men to love about you? • How does this belief impact your actions (or inaction), and how is that affecting your outcomes? Yep, that’s a surefire way to avoid ever being hurt or rejected.Be willing to forgo the idea of perfection and find a REAL man. ) Here are some action steps to get you started: • Get honest with yourself by getting to the core of your belief that there are no quality men. If you believed otherwise, how would it change your dating experiences? (Listen, I was the master of this, but finally learned how I consistently self sabotaged.And when I saw it, and dealt with it, my life changed.Out of this you will begin to refine your list of must-have’s, nice to have’s and who cares/what was I thinking.If you are serious about finding a life partner, or at least a man to have some fun with, letting go of the idea that there are no good single men for you is a first critical step. I’d love to hear how this (pretty simple) shift works for you. Bobbi If you want to find that man who loves and adores you for the rest of your life, join Bobbi for her Grownup Girls’ Night Out FREE monthly webcasts.When your belief shifts, the good men will be there waiting for you. After working on this for just a week or two, they “miraculously” see nice guys everywhere. Get a ton of expert, juicy, must-have information and advice about men, dating, sex and relationships…all free and from the comfort of your own home.