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When you think about a Thanksgiving feast, you probably think about snitching crisp turkey skin right off the bird straight out the oven, creamy mashed potatoes dripping with gravy, luscious spicy pumpkin pie mounded with whipped cream, and eating so much you have to loosen the belt.

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My point is while you may be thinking about eating, your wife is thinking about the whole ritual of the day, the romance of the gathering—connection, beauty, and light. The setting, the build-up, the relationship all work together to make the moment work for her. Women complain to me in therapy that their husbands never call when they’re at work. Compartmentalizing works for you when it comes to sex because you can focus and enjoy, but it works against you when it comes to providing some forethought to the moment. Usually this is unsatisfying to men because they want a responsive partner.

Flowers sitting on the counter provide relational constancy for a woman. When you hide the ball behind your back and your baby remembers and tries to find it; he has achieved object constancy. Relational constancy means we feel secure even if our partner is absent or preoccupied. Almost every woman I’ve ever talked to thinks she takes too long. Her hormonal funding of testosterone, a hormone in both men and women that governs physiological craving for sex, can be as low as 100th of yours.

Gifts and flowers are like transitional objects standing in for your presence. As far as verbal suggestions, “Do you want to have sex? “Mmmm,” they think, “do I want to have sex…uh, no.” It’s the wrong question. Think about weightlifting with and without steroids.

Try not to be a sexist or tell her how girls should be or how they shouldn't be.

Once you both have a comfort level, start with all the "bad past" or "what has happened so far in life" talks.

Don't tell her how rich you are and how many famous people you've met. If you really wish to chat with her, make sure you are eager in her choices and ideas. Be a good listener and make sure you talk stuff which is interesting enough and wanted to be heard.

Make Her Want You Take Her Out Take Her to Bed Community Q&A Older women know what they want in a relationship, and aren’t afraid to speak their minds.

They’re confident, self-sufficient, and reach their sexual peak long after men their age have passed theirs.

So, how do you seduce one of these irresistible women?

560 Comments

  1. When you think about a Thanksgiving feast, you probably think about snitching crisp turkey skin right off the bird straight out the oven, creamy mashed potatoes dripping with gravy, luscious spicy pumpkin pie mounded with whipped cream, and eating so much you have to loosen the belt.

  2. Pottery Barn catalogs are being pored over as she plans her own table settings. Seemingly no matter what you do, initiation results in the same answer—no. You can’t only concentrate on the turn of your golf swing.

  3. This year’s centerpiece will be the piece de resistance. But you don’t know why anyone would bother with the trimmings when there’s a feast ahead; doesn’t matter to you if it’s on china or a paper plate. Women think more like the web—everything links to everything. You’ve also to have the right grip and keep your eye on the ball. Then, they take another 20 minutes of genital stimulation to reach orgasm.

  4. Candles have already made the shopping list so everything will be perfect. Women like to feel deeply connected before they turn on sexually. It works against us when the task at hand is sex and we can’t let go of the cares of the day. Marshal all these sex tips for a coordinated effort. If you rush her, she’ll conclude it’s not her night and tell you to go ahead.

  5. My point is while you may be thinking about eating, your wife is thinking about the whole ritual of the day, the romance of the gathering—connection, beauty, and light. The setting, the build-up, the relationship all work together to make the moment work for her. Women complain to me in therapy that their husbands never call when they’re at work. Compartmentalizing works for you when it comes to sex because you can focus and enjoy, but it works against you when it comes to providing some forethought to the moment. Usually this is unsatisfying to men because they want a responsive partner.

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